I thought I'd managed to sort my body clock out as I woke up this morning at about 8.30am as Toby and Tony were getting ready for work, then managed an entire day of doing stuff, but completely flaked late in the evening, only to wake up again at about 3am (which it is now). Arse. Nytol required.

Am eating very healthily. I'm impressed! I am drinking gallons of water!

Did some shopping and bought some cheap trainery things (AUS$30) and some shorts (AUS$29) from Grace brothers (yes, really!), where Jon and I had our picture taken next to the sign! We also went up the AMP tower and took in the view - spectacular, thanks mostly to the glorious clear weather.

Jon's ICQ shag is really possessive and clingy. I don't think Jon's enjoying that but I've been feeling quite gooseberry-like and that is bugging him. Ah well - he's just too nice for his own good sometimes.

The French Navy are in port. God their uniforms are horny; white shirts, shorts, and little white caps with red pompoms! They've been causing quite a stir on Oxford Street!

BBC World has much funkier music than BBC News 24. Channel 1 shows Knight Rider in the morning.

Men don't "cum" here. They "spooge." Anyone looking through my code would be shocked ($spooge is now more favoured than $eep), then. I have not heard anyone say "streuth!" yet.

They have "The Weakest Link" (which is shit here too) not hosted by Anne Robinson, but by Home and Away's Ailsa's evil sister. Or was it Alf's sister? I can't remember. But she's shit whoever she played and has silly red hair. Oh - and glasses perched on the end of her nose which she's clearly not using. Tosh.

I almost bought a PAYG phone.