Hiring the right staff for the job is obviously a very time-consuming process. So what better way to find new staff than make random job offers to someone you've never met via the Internet.
After having read my CV and looked around my homepage, you'll either want to hire me or sleep with me. I don't do sex for money so I'd rather you offered me a job.
Don't worry if I don't have any of the skills required; my productivity levels are minimal so it won't really matter.
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Let's get straight to the point. When suggesting a salary, be sure to factor in: a smoking habit that would give Red Adair emphysema, religious alcoholism and a penchant for gadgets with no real use.
So. You're going to pay me £ are you?
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The correct car is very important. Remember gadget quotient and colour are just as important as the whirly-gurdy thing under the bonnety wotsit.
If you can't make up your mind, I've pre-selected the Aston Martin on your behalf.
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I'm not going to be lured away just by flash cars and oodles of cash; money isn't everything and I have my mind set on matters more spiritual: holidays, stock, fashion.
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I need time to spend the salary you're going to pay me. Holidays abroad and excessive gin consumption are both a time-consuming art form.
You're going to offer me weeks a year, then?
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Are you even remotely serious?
Yes No
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