James Coates shag application form

Revision 1.2html (18/10/1995)

Revision 1.3html (20/08/2007)

Following a bit of a hoohah from some with nothing better to do, I modified the ages in the pulldown; the last incarnation from 1995 used to read "16-21" which seemed to raise some eyebrows. I also removed the bit about photographs because I don't yet own a digital camera.

Frankly, though, this form is now obsolete as I've become a lot less picky over the last twelve years (and the move to a new web server has broken the mail-out script) you'd be better off looking at my Gaydar profile or my Citégay one.

irony noun: (7) an objectively sardonic style of speech or writing.

Name:

Email :

Age :

Height:

Waist :

Chest :

Please describe yourself in no more than 200 words:

Personal details. Please answer these questions. You may be asked to answer further questions via email.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your looks?

Does it bother you that I'm just a girl who can't say no, I'm in a bit of a jam? Yes No

Are you muscular? Yes No

Do you have an elder brother or twin? Yes No

Is he muscular? Yes No

Do you or he object to fulfilling every gay man's fantasy? Yes No

Do you have a big penis? No Yes Huge You'll never walk again

Are you rich? Yes No

Are your parents rich and likely to leave everything to you (or your brother)? Yes No

Will you give me some money? Yes No

Do you mind having sex whenever I ask for it? Yes No

Do you mind paying my mortgage? Yes No

Are you a dirty boy? Yes No

Would you like to be taught how to be? Yes No

Do you mind me bringing fit young men back for when you're too lazy to do me? Yes No

Do you have a supply of fit young men for when I'm too lazy to get my own? Yes No

Do you know anyone else who has their own supply of fit young men we can borrow? Yes No

If I sleep with you, will I appear in 'HELLO' magazine, 'Paris Match' or the local tribunal d'instance? Yes No

How many pages/years am I likely to get?

Will you pay me to keep your filthy secrets to myself? Yes No

Would you mind buying me a new car? Yes No

Do you live in an exclusive area? (Knightsbridge, Saint Cloud, your own little world, etc) Yes No

Are you within walking distance of a tobacconist? Yes No

Your financial standing. Please give the following information regarding the status of your bank account and general financial standing.

Annual income: €

Which of these bank cards do you hold: (tick the best one only)

None

AMEX Centurion
Visa Infinite
Any other card

Your car :

Year of registration :