================================================================

Heard at the Oakland, Ca airport:

Pilot: Oakland Ground, Cessna 1234 at Sierra Academy, Taxi, Destination Stockton.

Ground: Cessna 1234, Taxi Approved, report leaving the airport.

================================================================ RBL UA /OV RBL- RDD 360030/TM 1950/FLOTP/TP HXB/SK 018 OVC 115/RM SOLID UNDERCAST N RDD/UNVFR. "DECIDED I`M TOO YOUNG TO GO OTP THIS" N BND TO SIY

-do you get this one??

================================================================

Pilot coming in with his buddy who had never flown before:

Pilot: This is 1234 Delta five miles north for landing with Mike.

The tower clears him and he lands. When they shut down, the passenger, whose name is Mike, says, "Why'd you have to tell them that I was with you?"

================================================================

Dead reckoning still has its place. We once had a pilot call in and say "Help, I'm hopelessly lost over Gravette, Ark.". We all looked at each other, and after a chuckle, the controller for that area asked the pilot "If you are hopelessly lost, how do you know you are over Gravette, Ark.?" The pilot said "Because I'm circling the water tank and it says Gravette, Ark."!! (The town was too small to be on his sectionals).

================================================================

Tower: Hotel-1, cleared to hover taxi, stay clear of Runway 16, Cessna in the pattern doing touch and go's

Me: Cessna 123, downwind for 16.

H-1: Uh, Tower, could we get some progressive taxi instructions?

Tower: Roger, Hotel-1...you're going the WRONG WAY, Sir...(brief instructions)...and remain clear of 16

Me: Cessna 123, turning left base for 16.

Tower: Hotel-1, proceed on course. Break. Cessna 123 fly through final, 270 to 16.

Me: (Pause. Confusion...fly through..? Vectors? No...Huh?) "Cessna 123, uh, sorry could you repeat that last?"

Tower: Cessna 123, fly through your final, right 270 back to 16.

(Pregnant pause)

Tower: ...Kinda like an 'off-ramp'. (Another pause, but shorter this time)

Me: Roger that, 123 takin' the next exit, will call final.

================================================================

Link back to Aviation jokes contents page. On to next aviation jokes page